Journey of Own

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Chapter 1: The Wind is Trapped

This is the door to Makani’s apartment. You are the narrator of this story. Today, you will meet Makani at the house you are standing in front of. In a few moments, you will begin to understand. First, observe the outside. You must pay attention to the details so you can understand what is happening inside Makani’s life.

The apartment is small. It is for a youth trying to find their own independence and identity in the context of a wild, unprocessed life. It is a charming apartment at first glance, yet it also starts to seem neglected as you look closer. Its windowsills are corroding brown and splintered from the brackish sea air, while pot plants at the doorstep have become bushy and confused. At the front of the apartment are two windows: one belongs to the kitchen and the other belongs to the living room and both are closed at eleven o’clock in the morning. It seems that the resident of the apartment doesn’t want to welcome anyone at this time. But you, who are observing outside and standing on the doorstep of the apartment of Makani, are ready to enter and understand.

You safely open the front door and walk inside. As you enter, it is like familiarizing yourself with a dark forest since the interior of the apartment has little that shines and little light. Yet the ambience is not sinister or menacing at all. As you walk steadily inside, it simply tends to deny visitors or advise them that the resident of the apartment is not in a good mood and ready to entertain another person. Forward you go, a few steps ahead, and you turn towards a doorway to observe the state of the kitchen, exclaiming at the sight to yourself. Nevertheless, you still investigate. You see three dirty, empty pizza boxes. They are really snack products made into dinner. Two boxes are on the kitchen counter and the other last one is in the kitchen sink. And inside the kitchen sink, sharing the space with the pizza box, is a stained champagne glass with yester night’s wine. Horribly, one meter away from the sink and scattered across the kitchen floor is a shattered bottle of wine. After your second exclamation, you pull your sight away from the kitchen, and as you are doing this, your eyes pass over a photograph of Makani celebrating her father’s 70th birthday with him at his house, eating the birthday cake, just the two of them. You stop and stare at the picture for a few seconds and then continue away from the kitchen.

You slowly walk further into the house and towards the living room, while the television, which has been on the whole night, is still playing a heartthrob movie on a romance channel. You look at the sofa, where it seems Makani sat last night, and you then see a motivational magazine lying open at an article ‘Strong and Independent’. Suddenly, your attention is alerted when you hear a buzzing, chiming cell phone. Every two or so minutes, a new message arrives, and the tone of the cell phone’s messaging system starts to feel obnoxious and disturbing as it persistently repeats. Near the phone is a half-eaten slab of chocolate lying in pieces, making a mess on the sofa. You observe for a while and then pass by.

The last door you will open is Makani’s bedroom. You are left to confront it, sensing an ambience that is not sinister or menacing at all, but it still feels like it would rather deny visitors entry. You are left to confront it, nevertheless, and the door gives way, slowly unlocking as if on its own, yielding to your curiosity. The door slowly widens, but then stops half-open and becomes stuck, as if it has gained the weight of a boulder too large for you to move. Even an army of war veterans would find difficulty in pushing such an obstacle. You then conclude that no one is invited inside Makani’s bedroom, which is correct.

Through the space left to look inside the bedroom, you see mostly dingy darkness caused by the closed curtains, but you can identify chaotic contours across the bed of some writhing soul lying wrapped inside the duvet. And you, the visitor and narrator, assume correctly when you identify the person sleeping coldly, alone and sad as the mess Makani, the exhausted Wind.

Chapter 2: Observe Makani’s Face as She Prepares

In the room, blurred by the darkness and meaninglessness, Makani was covered by the duvet and her life problems. Her body turned, jolted, and then continued restlessly on the bed. Makani had to wake up eventually, one way or another, even though she didn’t want to leave her warm bed. The world wouldn’t cease for her; it was not too chivalrous, which was the knowledge she had come to learn.

Makani did not want to be awake, but she was semi-conscious. In her semi-slumber, she hadn’t opened her eyes yet to face reality. She covered her face with the duvet to try and hide from the preordained truth of the world but not to escape it by committing suicide. Because who would take care of her old father if she did kill herself? Who would tell her old man that someone loved him and would always remember his birthday? Makani was the only child of David. Their closest blood relatives were superficial with their care. They would only care about her father because it was what was nobly expected from her Hawaiian culture: take care of your relatives, the duty decreed.

Importantly, her mother, Anne, could not care for David, for she died years ago. Makani angers! Her mother never loved her father that much in any case, Makani believes, as she still angers in the cage made of cushions. If Anne had loved David that much, she would still be alive. But she forsook David and Makani for a new life. How could she?! Makani always became annoyed when she thought about her mother’s doings. Makani sometimes felt her resentment was righteous when she cursed her own mother in her thoughts and proclaimed that it was fateful justice that she would not experience old age: the better days. Makani’s forehead started showing wrinkles of distress while her eyelids were closed as she became tense. However, as troubles laden upon Makani’s tormented soul, she still had to wake up. Makani had to open her eyes and wake up! And face her life.

Makani decided to count to ten so she could have the motivation to leave her bed. At the count of ten, she would get up from the bed as this seemingly trivial exercise had become a strong enough habit to start the day. In her tired whispers, she began, ‘One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten… ten… ten.’ Makani said again, ‘Ten.’ But she was not yet motivated as her soft cushion on the bed was more comforting than the tough air of the world. She wanted to repeat the sequence again. However, she managed to move into a crouching position, finally getting up after she repeated the number ten as she was reminded about David, her poor, lonely father. Makani rose up but stayed seated on the bed.

She got up, put on her bedroom slippers, and trudged forward to start the day. In pyjamas, Makani walked towards her bedroom door. As she tried to pull it from the halfway position to open the door entirely, it wouldn’t budge. In the corner at the top-right side of the rectangular bedroom door, there was a broken hinge that had needed fixing for months. Makani had not yet tried to do something about it. But the fine lady, aggressive and angry, pulled the door. By the force of her furious will, the door opened inward, slamming open all the way and banging the wall with the door hinge squealing. As tense as before, Makani’s day now began as she exited her bedroom.


Makani had just finished showering, and she now stepped in front of the mirror above the bathroom sink. She gazed at her reflection vacantly, like she didn’t want to engage with or understand it. The mirror could become an instrument that was more than just a cosmetic apparatus. A mirror could also create a moment of introspective self-realization. A moment of self-realization was a moment of understanding oneself. The mirror could be a place where a person confronted their own perception of their self, whether it was true or false. The mirror could reveal the facts, often unwanted, about oneself that we shy away from. For it could possibly strip away fantasies that the person had formed which idealized the self. It could inform us of the truth that other people were afraid to tell us. The mirror could be where a person confronted their internal image. Makani was about to focus on her own reflection and see her true image, but she was triggered as she rushed away, having remembered something. She left the bathroom without really seeing into the image in the mirror.

Makani later returned to the bathroom, pacing back and forth inside with her phone in hand while she prepared herself for the day. She stopped in front of the mirror and posed for the camera as she took a selfie using her cell phone. Makani made wide grins as she tried to capture a moment of happiness, even if it was just a facade. She didn’t want the world to see her vulnerability or the pain that resided within her. The selfie was a way to present a version of herself that was socially acceptable, a version that didn’t reveal the inner turmoil she was experiencing.

After taking the selfie, Makani scrolled through social media, mindlessly liking and scrolling past posts of friends and acquaintances living seemingly perfect lives. Each picture and status update were a reminder of what she felt she lacked – happiness, success, and fulfilment. The comparison made her feel even more isolated and discontented.

As she continued to scroll, a particular post caught her attention. It was a photo of a serene beach with a caption that read, “Find peace within yourself.” The words resonated with Makani as she yearned for inner peace. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to imagine herself in that tranquil setting, far away from her current reality.

But the moment was fleeting. The noise from outside, the demands of her job, and the weight of her responsibilities came crashing back into her consciousness. The image of the beach faded away, leaving behind a sense of longing.

Makani sighed and set her phone down. She knew that finding peace within herself was easier said than done. It required introspection, self-acceptance, and the courage to confront her fears and insecurities. It meant acknowledging her pain and working through it rather than burying it under a facade.

With a renewed determination, Makani decided to seek help. She reached out to a therapist who could guide her through the process of self-discovery and healing. She understood that finding inner peace was not a destination but a journey, and she was ready to embark on that journey.

As the days turned into weeks and the weeks into months, Makani slowly began to unravel the layers of her emotions. She confronted her past traumas, learned to let go of what she couldn’t control, and embraced self-compassion. It was a challenging process, filled with ups and downs, but she persisted.

Over time, Makani started to notice a shift within herself. She began to find moments of peace amidst the chaos of life. She discovered strength in vulnerability and authenticity. Her sense of self-worth no longer relied on external validation but came from within.

The journey towards inner peace wasn’t linear, and Makani still had her bad days. But she had learned to embrace the ebb and flow of life, knowing that true peace came from accepting both the light and the darkness within herself.

And as she stood in front of the mirror once again, Makani looked into her own eyes and saw a reflection of resilience and growth. She smiled, not for the camera this time, but for herself. She was still a work in progress, but she had come a long way on her journey towards finding inner peace.

Chapter 3: A Journey Begins with a Single Step

Makani enters Honolulu International Airport with a hubbub of travellers and tourists navigating through the commotion of the island airport. Makani is now following the congested tiled path along with other airport personnel.

She arrives at work about five hours before she is to serve on transnational flights to different countries across the globe. She works a chain of flights, so she can have a series of days off between work. From Honolulu, she will travel to capital cities of the world from Guatemala City in Guatemala to Sofia in Bulgaria, Antananarivo in Madagascar, and Manilla in the Philippians, and then eventually return to Honolulu. Makani will circumnavigate the globe from the west to the east, working and hopefully exploring. It will be a long and demanding trip, but Makani also wants to make time to spend with her father, who has no family around to care for him. She plans to spend some time going out, being spontaneous and reckless, trying to forget her obligations and responsibilities, and removing the bad sentiment of her failed engagement. Makani pulls a single bag on wheels behind her. She packs fewer items than before.

Makani thinks merely about doing her work and then returning as she paces forward. Though becoming unaware of it, she still drags baggage behind her. She stops and messages her colleagues, who have also become friends, with her phone and after seeing her message, they signal their presence by waving their arms at her as they sit at a table at a restaurant. Makani spots them and strolls calmly over to them.

‘Hey, guys!’ Makani says to her three friends.

‘Hey, Kay!’ Dakota replies, using Makani’s nickname. The friends greet one another with hugs and kisses.

Makani then starts talking: ‘So guys, how are you?’

‘We’re good,’ Dakota says.

‘Always marvellous,’ Ashikaa answers.

‘What can I say? These two ladies are a handful… Just teasing; we’re fine,’ Greg jokes.

Their discussion turns to reminiscing over a party three nights ago.

‘Guys, that was a ball,’ Makani says with surprisingly calmness.

‘Yeah, it was fun!’ Dakota exclaims.

Ashikaa adds, ‘Kay, girl, you can dance.’

‘Yeah, yeah, you all had fun while you left me and went to the dance floor. Leaving poor me alone to sit by myself,’ Greg plays.

‘Boy, learn to dance,’ Ashanti teases.

‘And get a girlfriend!’ Dakota joins.

‘Next time, I promise we won’t leave you, Greggy,’ Makani also teased, and they all laughed.

‘So, Dakota,’ Greg starts to gush without thinking about where he is going, ‘where’s Kelvin? And what about you, Ashikaa? You have been with Kongu for ten years! Why ain’t you accepting the man’s proposal?’

Ashikaa answers, ‘No, it’s just that Kongu wants to start a family while I am not ready yet. But… I will have to consider.’

‘Kelvin, guys…’ Dakota begins, ‘Kelvin got daddy issues, like when we get into a fight, he always threatens me that he will leave me like his father left him. Like, I can’t deal with that, so we’re not on speaking terms lately.’

Greg answers, ‘Okay I hear you. What about you, Makani? Akila’s…’. Greg blunders when he mentions the cheating ex-fiancé who broke Makani’s heart. The two women give Greg a harsh stare, communicating an attempt to discipline him, and then turn to console Makani, who is making an effort to smile and act normally.

‘Akila was not good for you,’ Dakota says.

‘Yes, girl, you are far too perfect for him,’ Ashikaa reassures Makani.

‘It’s okay, guys. I’m really fine,’ Makani says, ‘Like, he lives his life and I live my own… Did you see my posts earlier today? Like, I know Akila may be fuming when he saw them… Did you see the picture when I was dancing on the table? Best time of my whole life!’

Makani’s friends all stare at her for a short while and then quickly start to nod and congratulate Makani as a form of consolation. They clap their hands for Makani posting pictures of herself on her social media account in which she danced drunk on top of the table.

Makani grins, yet afterwards, she looks down and is a little ashamed. She then shrugs her feelings of regret off and smiles back at her friends.

Eventually, all the friends and plane attendants get up and give each other a group hug as they get ready for work. They say farewell to Makani when she informs them that she has to get ready for work.

Makani departs alone.

In the last hour before starting her work, Makani closes the door of her locker. She is thinking or maybe regretting that she broadcasted those nightclub pictures. She hopes that management does not see them because the thought crosses her mind briefly that she may be disciplined, or she may be embarrassed later. Would the pictures really antagonize Akila or become examples of her foolishness in the future? However, Makani is more worried about how the pictures will impact her father David if he sees them by some unlikely coincidence.

Unfortunately, what is happening, the conflict of conscience occurring, is wrong for Makani. All the moral turmoil is misplaced. For Makani is stressing about how the world sees her, while she should be worried about how she herself sees the world! The first help a person will find is through themselves. If she had a solution to the dilemma to how she responds to the challenges she meets in her life, her life would be much better. However, Makani doesn’t know the solution to such a dilemma and remains stressed.

Makani locks the door of her locker, and she then leaves for her next plane; leaving to find the solution – or a way around.

Chapter 4: When Love and the Heart are Separated

Makani smiles, Makani greets, and Makani serves on the plane headed to Guatemala City on which she is attending. Makani attends to the passengers with courtesy and professionalism. She walks with the trolley shelved with snacks, sandwiches and cold drinks down the aisle with all the seats demarcated on the length of the aircraft. As she attends to each passenger, Makani offers a variety of foods. Chicken or beef for the sandwiches, peanuts or potato chips for snacks, and different flavours for the drinks are all available at the leisure of the passengers. Passengers choose what they want. Some of the passengers she serves are good people with good manners, while others are selfish, narcissistic and display a ‘me-attitude’. This is a self-centred behaviour when one complains about anything – although most demands are unnecessary and trivial. But most passengers are busy with their own affairs, focusing on their phones on flight mode or watching programs on the onboard screens. Thus, Makani serves and gives professional grimaces to the distant passengers of the plane she attends.

After completing her duty serving, Makani is relaxing with her colleagues, when she is called to help an elderly man who has dropped his luggage and its contents on the floor. Makani hastens and helps him pick up the open suitcase and clothing hanging out from it. ‘Don’t worry sir,’ she says. ‘Take a seat. I will be of assistance.’ Makani folds the clothes and places them in his suitcase. When Makani is done, she pushes the suitcase into the overhead shelf and turns to the seated old man to check on him.

The old man assures Makani that he is fine, ‘Thank you, young lady. All is good now.’

Makani responds by saying, ‘Ok sir, if you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask.’ As a formality, Makani also enquires whether the passengers who are sitting next to the old man need anything. All the passengers appreciate the offer but do not need assistance.

Then, one charming, playful young male passenger becomes flirty and the surrounding passengers chuckle when he says, ‘I also need help, especially my lonely heart.’

Makani takes the humour with a smile, but offers a retort to the male passenger and the surrounding passengers chuckle again after she says, ‘Sorry, mister, what you ask for, I cannot help with.’

Makani is ready to return to the front of the plane where her colleagues are seated. The male passenger, whose name is Juan, tries to charm Makani again by saying, ‘Very well, I respect a beautiful lady – a lady fair like you.’

As Makani walks away, she hears this compliment and stops, turns, and stares directly into Juan’s eyes. He is cheekily smirking; indeed, he is trying to swoon her. Makani looks at his face, analyses it, and is briefly mesmerized. Juan’s grin reminds her of ex-fiancè’s ways of charming her. Yet, Makani still smiles back at Juan and shows that she still appreciates his gesture.

The plane lands at its destination in Guatemala City. She meets Juan inside the airport, and they exchange phone numbers so as to develop a relationship. Makani finds Juan’s gestures so interesting and familiarly charming that she calls one of her friends, Becky, to talk about him. Makani is rushing to her next plane, which will soon be headed to a new destination.

‘But Makani,’ Becky asks, ‘what made you like him?’

‘It’s just that Juan is fun and outgoing – like Akila,’ Makani remarks, ‘But Juan is also cute, like the beach type.’

‘Juan sounds like fun. Ok, so I get why you like him on the outside, but what other qualities did you see that you haven’t found in other guys?’

‘My friend, I feel like Akila is nothing compared to Juan. Like Juan is more charming and seems adventurous, I think he is a quick learner… While like the dumb Akila is too slow, he never listens… tortoises are much faster than him.’

Becky chuckles and takes tahe humour; however, she becomes serious in her tone as she says, ‘But sweetheart, Makani… How long since you spoke to Akila? Are you over him?… It’s like you still thinking about him. Akila this, Akila that.’

Makani is taken off-guard by these questions. ‘Me?! Thinking of that idiot… I don’t care about him! He means nothing!’ Makani becomes angry as she says, ‘He is the one who ruined a perfect eight-year relationship for one stupid promiscuous night!’ She quickly feels tired and says, ‘Becky, I have to go. I’m getting late for work.’

Makani ends the call, frustrated. She is looking down at her phone as she switches it off while rushing, but her mind is still fixed on Becky’s words. Makani is still thinking about Akila. She is still struggling to forget the relationship. Suddenly, Makani realizes that Juan seems so similar to Akila. She is afraid to accept the truth that Akila still plays a pivotal role in her well-being and her life. With this reality confronted, the bare truth comes rushing in, full speed towards Makani. She rushes and rushes ever faster to flee from it.


While pacing across the airport, still looking down at her blank phone, Makani accidentally bumps into a person. She is pushed backwards, but two steady arms belonging to a man named Joe gently rescue and pull her up. The two both look at each other’s eyes. Joe looks longer at Makani, who averts her eyes as a means to break up the establishment of any chemistry between them. She quickly picks up her phone lying on the ground. Makani apologizes for the accident and Joe also apologizes as the two of them stand while rearranging themselves and their luggage to look busy.

Makani turns away and rushes off to her plane. She quickens her pace, but Joe follows her for a few paces. He stops and says, ‘Hello, sorry to bother you, miss, but I’m Joe. I think we are going to the same place… maybe the same plane. I would like to meet up with you again, if you want to.’ Joe speaks with his heart filled with anticipation and fear, hoping to get the contact details of the beautiful woman, and maybe a date.

Makani is distracted, but she seems to appreciate Joe’s manners. ‘Ok, I can make some time. Here’s my number. But I have to go. Goodbye.’

The two separate, only to meet again later on.

Makani and Joe board the plane to Sofia, Bulgaria, and over the next few days, Makani meets up with Joe on dates when she is off work. Late one afternoon, after going to the movies together, they stroll down a bridge side by side, with the colours and light from the sky becoming intoxicating and wonderful. A pair of good humans looking to understand more about each other, walking and talking. Both are smiling. There is a good relationship between Makani and Joe as they spend the day together. They are neither too close and intimate nor too far apart from each other. They are respecting each other’s boundaries healthily, and so get to know each other naturally. Such an environment creates a good opportunity to discuss general but somewhat revealing topics. Joe walks and then asks Makani about a treat of the day.

‘Did you enjoy the movie?’ Joe enquires.

Makani gladdens, ‘Yes, I did.’

Joe is relieved and happy. ‘Okay, good. I thought that women don’t like the bravado, macho-man action movies.’

Makani becomes friendly-sarcastic. ‘Yes, women do love movies where a man is a leader who always dominates other men and has many lovers, drives the fanciest cars, and is always arrogant, and has explosions blasting with him nonchalantly walking away from the scene… I think every woman loves such a movie.’

Joe smiles. ‘Okay, I get the point, but it’s just entertainment. But thanks for watching it with me.’

Makani smiles. ‘Okay.’

‘So, are you in a relationship, Makani?’

‘Love…? I will have to pass that topic. My ex… is such a disappointment,’ Makani says, for she remembers her and Akila enjoying late afternoons like today, when he would have spoilt her on the most romantic date, departing from the movies while eating cotton candy and laughing while holding each other’s hands. Makani begins to miss Akila, but she sighs and says instead, ‘He is so cruel… Men always disappoint when everything is going well.’

‘Not every man is a bad person. What did your ex do to you?’

‘Can we not talk about it?’

‘Okay… I respect that.’

The two have walked a while and are now arriving at the hotel where Makani is staying. Both stand at the entrance and are now facing each other. Joe then says before they part ways, ‘Makani, it seems like your ex broke your heart dearly. My mom always says a man should put a woman first. That is what I believe in. What I am saying is that I don’t disappoint the love of my life.’

‘You are a good man, Joe, and you have a good mother.’

‘What Makani… that I’m trying to say…’

Makani knows where Joe is going, so she interrupts. ‘Sorry Joe, it’s getting late. I have a shift tomorrow.’

Makani refuses to allow Joe to make any further romantic advances towards her and she begins to leave. Joe looks sad and disheartened.

‘Can I phone you later, Makani? Maybe meet up again?’ Joe seeks any form of solace from the interest of his heart. But the love still flies away to the blue sky, escaping. A future with Makani, however, looks dim.

‘Sure, maybe. Goodnight Joe.’

‘Goodbye, Makani.’

Joe stands.

Makani departs.

Chapter 5: At the Feet of Wisewomen

In the morning the next day, at the hotel she is staying, Makani cleans up the side closet and her cosmetics. She picks up assorted items and places them into her purse, but as she does this, she finds a ring. Not the engagement ring that Akila give her, which she threw at his face when she discovered his infidelity that fateful night. This ring is plain and functional because it plays a particular purpose in society. She places the plain ring on one of her fingers. Makani’s cell phone buzzes with messages from the two men she has met over the past few days, Juan and Joe.

Juan’s message is a photo of him at a night bash party inviting Makani to meet up with him when she is in Guatemala again, while Joe’s message tells Makani that he is sorry for intruding into her love life, but he states that he is still interested in her, and would wait for her. The messages Makani are enticing. However, they are also destructive because all the while, Makani thinks that a relationship with one of them could somehow improve her love life. She realizes she could develop a relationship with one of them with the wrong intentions. Makani becomes responsible and mature in her decision because she knows that if she starts a relationship with one of them, the reason would be Akila: whether it would be spiting Akila about having someone new or trying to forget Akila through having the new attention. All the reasons are motivated by Akila.

Meanwhile, Makani stares at Juan’s and Joe’s messages, and then she stares back at the plain ring. The plain ring’s function is to be put on her engagement finger so she could not be judged negatively by society. That she has failed in love and that she was not strong enough for marriage. Makani stares at the messages and the ring. But Makani slides the ring into her engagement finger. However, she leaves voicemails to both Juan and Joe, informing them that she will not have any relationship with them any longer. Makani then deletes their contacts. She proceeds on and Makani closes the hotel door and she left.

The airplane to Antananarivo is silent with Makani inside sitting after her servicing has been done. The plane is that silent, even the passengers are solemn. Makani’s down spirit spreads throughout the plane. It is a plane travelling to a tropical paradise, yet it feels like it is a space for mourning. But the plane flies and glides through the ocean blue sky with brushes of white clouds flowing still. When with an opening in the thin vapours of clouds displayed by the atmospheric conditions, the turquoise sea shows, with sprinkled coloured corals and the most beautiful beach reveals itself welcoming. A picturesque showing of sparkling seas girdling the emerald-green jewel is a sight of wonder. The plane has arrived in Madagascar, its destination. But wondering through a window, Makani just stares, unimpressed. Makani is done for her work shift, her colleagues from Madagascar and with her homeland friends: Greg, Ashikaa and Dakota they all decide to go for a small vacation in the huge island. Her friends convinced Makani numerous times to join them, and she has finally accepted the requests in due course. Makani and her friends decide to take a tour bus so to explore the best locations in the island. As the young folks climb into the long bus when it fetches them in their hotel, the group is amazed when they climb into the bus and find that the driver of the heavy transport is a middle-aged woman, which is a rare witness in their lives.

The woman greets them, ‘Good morning, good morning, come inside, all of you, let go and find the happiness of the island.’ The group passes the cheerful woman bus driver and picks seats to sit on while all acting hysterical – gaping their mouths towards themselves – as they see a novelty compared to the usual lives back home, a middle-aged woman driving a colourful tour bus. Makani is on the steps entering the bus when the middle-aged woman bus driver, Zee stares and stares for uncomfortable seconds at the distant face of Makani. With Makani averting her intrusive look. As Makani walks inside and enters the bus, passing Zee, Zee stops Makani as she grasps her arm with Makani being confused to the borderline of being agitated. But the smiling Zee just says with a smile, ‘You worry too much Child. Don’t worry too much, come inside the happy bus Child. Child, come inside; forget what is behind you.’ Makani is confused and irritated because she finds Zee being presumptuous about her life while Zee doesn’t have knowledge. What makes Makani upset also is that Zee is commanding her that she should enter the bus when she is already on board, inside! A confusing and seemingly patronizing gesture, Makani thinks. Though Makani pretends to smile in a patronizing manner herself at Zee and she moves on forward and she go and sits and joins her friends while informing them that the bizarre woman thinks she has insight about her life

Zee drives the group of friends with some tourists through the island with her colourful bus, with short parking to show them places of interest and any spectacle. In one event, Zee sees something to be amazed that she parks the bus on the side of the road, and she leaves the driver’s seat while calling out her passengers to come and join her on her witnessing. The people are outside now and standing with Zee at side of the road curious. And Zee points a rare bird that is pulling up from its eggs and leaving them so it could find food. The tourists and the group of friends take photographs of the event. Then Zee teaches the people what kind of rare species of bird it is, but she focuses on its behaviour. Zee lectures as she points and educates the tourists. ‘Look! Even when the bird is a very special bird, but it leaves its very special eggs, that can be ruined by its enemies so to find food. The special bird is not a bad parent. But the special bird is very special. Because it has faith that its very special eggs will be protected by the nature of God.’ Zee turns and stares at Makani among the preoccupied tourists and commands her a lesson. ‘Child, don’t worry too much. Be special, like the special bird.’

The tour bus finishes it tour at the island. The group of Makani’s friends are now exiting the bus as they step outside. As like before, Makani is the last of the group to follow then Zee at the driver’s seat spots her and waits for her and when Makani is about to pass her, she grasps her arm again as before with Makani being startled once more. Zee with a beautiful, optimistic smile again says, ‘Child, you worry too much. Don’t worry too much, Child. Now go outside to the happy world and be very special – be like the special bird.’ Makani looks at Zee with pensive. Wondering about the advice.

The group of friends are now at a festival at night, with firecrackers glistening the festival and parading displays ambling down the road. Makani is watching with locals the festival far from her friends. In her hand, Makani holds a tiny teddy bear keyring which she was gifted by her mother, Anne before she had divorced David after a 50-year-old marriage. Anne’s reason for the separation after five decades of matrimony was that she was not happy anymore. Anne then later on found a new spouse, and while both were going for a date night together, they were tragically involved in a car accident that became a fatality for both of them. Makani has resentment for her mother even when she has gone. Makani is still mad for Anne because she feels that Anne selfishly deserted her and her father David to find her new life. But the teddy bear keyring is a reminder of Anne before the divorce, when the good memories were still alive; when everything seemed better.

Makani’s teddy bear keyring dangles in her hand when suddenly there is a rough tug that she investigates. Makani catches a little girl pulling and screaming for her possession like it was hers. Makani slowly becomes infuriated over time, and she shouts at the little girl to release her keyring teddy bear but the little girl screams even louder until the attention from the people is drawn to the fray. Both females pull each other for the teddy bear keyring with people murmuring because they don’t understand what is going on. The little girl screams and pulls, and Makani shouts and pulls; the people do not understand both of them.

From a short distance, an angry old woman from the market comes rushing in to instil order. She arrives at the struggle and then confusingly starts chastising Makani’s hand with disciplining slaps. The old woman from the market carries on, slapping the hand of Makani trying to let her relinquish the teddy bear keyring. With power diminishing on her strength, Makani finally let go of the teddy bear keyring and the little girl flees, running with the teddy bear keyring until she was lost in sight, nowhere to be found. In sorrow, Makani bursts and complains with shouting at the old woman from the market about her loss: ‘What’s wrong with you?! That was mine! That was important to me!’ Makani is horrible in her scorn; she wants the old woman from the market to feel the hurt of losing the teddy bear keyring. For the teddy bear keyring keeps Makani warm inside.

However, the old woman from the market also releases her angry response. ‘Learn to let go…! Learn to let go…! Learn to let go!’ the old woman from the market says and persists with the same words with Makani staring furiously. Over time, Makani slowly starts to realize the meaning of the words, but only to the point of accepting the words. The words teach Makani that she has to learn to let go of the experiences that she treasures at the past as the old woman from the market advises her. But Makani doesn’t feel like she wants to relinquish those priceless moments, so she turns around and she marches away to look for her friends. Not to reunite with her friends, but to flee from the advice.

Chapter 6: Makani confronts Fate

The mood is grey, like the empty clouds at the sky. The shine of the sun is dipping, and its light shines as a goodbye for the glean in the tarmac of the runway of Manila’s airport is becoming orange amber in colour. It is the sunset at the Philippines airport and the last leg of Makani’s journey around the world. The plane is destined to go back to Hawaii, her homeland soon. As the trip which Makani took as a job duty has now become a tale of the revealing of one’s soul and self-perception. Now Makani is to return home to reveal the change she has confronted. With that, Makani is now walking devoid at the runway towards the plane that she will serve. She is bearing the relief that her duty is coming to an end. Soul-searching is a difficult experience. However, faith is not an impossible task. Yet scarily, Makani has been thinking of morbid thoughts lately, even malicious in character. She is finding no reason to go back home, she cannot go back to those backbreaking burdens, that heaviness. Makani refuses to go back home and face her life. Her father, David and her

friends, Ashikaa, Dakota and Greg must find it in their hearts to forgive her and hopefully carry on with their lives, because Makani, tonight, on the plane she is attending, she is going to end her life; Makani plans on committing suicide.

A quiet Makani places a plate delicately on the cart, expecting that it was the last time she will be doing this with the plane far into the sky. The plane soon starts jolting and shaking as the turbulence starts. Makani trembles with the passengers while she continues to stroll down the passage of the plane as the plane drifts in the night. Makani reaches her friends and colleagues as she places the cart in the kitchen. She solemnly walks up to her friends and gives each one personally a hug. All the friends smile yet are dumbfounded for such bizarre behaviour. Makani smiles and says goodbye and exits the kitchen while holding a medication bottle in her hand.

Makani walks until she enters the bathroom and locks it. Makani is at a tiny, squeezing space, she is forced to face the mirror above the sink. Then finally, Makani stares directly at her reflection. Makani looks and makes eye contact with the woman, staring her back through the mirror. Both women do not recognize each other. Both women are seeing shells of beautiful ladies. Momentarily afterwards, Makani averted her eyes from her reflection and poured pills from the medication bottle into her hand. As the hill of pale pills swelled in her hand, Makani could slightly hear commotion brewing from the passengers on the plane. But that situation is not her concern anymore, Makani decides.

As Makani tries to convince herself to commit the scary act as the medication bottle is empty now, she is startled when she hears women screeching from the passengers. But again, it is not her concern anymore, she says. As her hand filled with death-inducing pills lifts towards her opening mouth, Makani is disturbed when the bathroom door is repeatedly knocked as Greg calls out Makani for an emergency from the passengers. Makani stops! And she sighs. Makani downhearted, places the pills back into the medication bottle to reschedule her death later on. Then she exits to attend the emergency.

Makani arrives at the commotion, which consists of nervous passengers and traumatized passengers, the terrified staff and, while a few intrigued passengers, are busy recording videos with their phones on the reason for the commotion. At the centre of the hysteria, with a space between the seats, a man named Fiji is carrying a gun, which is a puzzle to how he entered the plane with it from tight-knit security at the airport. Nevertheless, with the gun Fiji is pointing it on his head, afraid and threatening on the people that he will trigger it to himself. Fiji is in tears, warning and asking his fellow passengers to stay clear away from him because he is going to shoot himself and commit suicide: ‘Get away, please, move away from me!’ He warns. ‘I going to shoot myself, because I have nothing left. A useless no one!… I am going to do it! So please stop coming!’ Fiji is pulling himself away from the scared passengers who are trying to help him, moreover, the passengers are also trying to help themselves as the gun can pose a serious danger to others.

Makani arrived after a few minutes alongside with her colleagues, is just staring and watching the attempted suicide of Fiji with exclamation and disappointment, whereas with shockingly jealously. With jealousy, Makani is feeling is because she watches the sympathetic passengers pleading to Fiji to stop before committing the dangerous action and yet he is getting all the attention. While Makani always had fantasized such a recognition for a long time especially in her prior minutes, she was at the bathroom and about to commit the evil deed without people trying to persuade her not to end her life. She was going to die alone without any love expressed towards her.

Makani is still standing in front of the nervous crowd. But she blatantly starts deserting, walking away from the crowd while talking to Fiji, who is still crying as he holds the gun onto his head. She empathically says. ‘Get already with it. Shoot yourself. No one is holding the gun for you.’ Everyone hearing the statement was gripped with awe and shock. Fiji looks at the departing Makani with bewilderment. He also exclaims with awe and shock as he speaks at Makani who turns to vacantly stare at him as she seems like she doesn’t care about the life-threatening situation. Fiji starts and laments to Makani, for he is looking at her now, one-on-one amongst the emotionally strung passengers. ‘Lady, I have suffered enough. I have been without a job for years… my wife has left with my children. My family and my community have lost respect for me. They gossip about my life behind my back. They do not address me with dignity. They all look the other way – no one cares for a crying man! So this is it… Now I will end my life, for I am useless!’

However, the speech of Fiji doesn’t convince Makani any better as she retorts, ‘We all have problems mister, but we don’t go around seeking attention like this. Why do you want to kill yourself like this in public? Fame? Sympathy? Please, mister, if you are going to do what you want to do, then do it now or somewhere else. Stop wasting our time.’ The plane’s attendants and the people try to stop Makani from enticing Fiji to commit suicide when they hush her down. Trying to make her quiet. But Makani is not submitting as she refuses to listen to any person and continues to confront Fiji.

Eye to eye, Makani and Fiji express their spiritual wounds. Fiji, however, removes the gun from his head but still carries it. ‘Lady, my problems are worst. My love has deserted me with my children. What is a man without nothing to work for? My life has no meaning anymore.’
Makani responds, ‘You are not the first to question life or who has lost a person who you thought was your soulmate. I know such pain… So please stop sulking!’

Fiji is now starting to be upset with Makani as she doesn’t want to empathize with his struggles as his gun, unintentionally start pointing around Makani’s direction. ‘Lady, please try to listen. That what is wrong, people don’t listen enough…’As Fiji speaks to Makani, he mistakenly pulls the trigger of the gun and, fortunately strikes the luggage away from the passengers, though the people scream as they fall down to the floor and move away from the carrier of the gun. Everyone moved back from Fiji, everyone except Makani, who is standing unafraid and unchallenged.

Makani looks at the regretting Fiji with determination and with reason. People are scared, and Makani steps forward. Fiji is confused as he warns Makani to stand away while he instinctively aims the gun at her. Makani still comes towards him. Fiji shouts. ‘Get away, I don’t want you getting hurt, Lady!’ But Makani is coming. But Makani is in a trance-like state, in a somewhat possessed state of mind. However, she is staring at the gun itself – and not in Fiji. ‘What?!’ Makani yells. ‘You want to kill me! Then do it. Kill me!’ she taunts at the gun.

The gun is aimed at Makani as she is still shouting and drawing closer to the gun. ‘Kill me! What are you waiting for?! I’m not scared! Take my life!’ Makani stares at the gun as it becomes a symbol for Akila’s infidelity, becomes a symbol of Anne’s abandonment, a symbol of her sacrifice for nursing the lonely David alone. The gun has become a symbol of Fate in Makani’s eyes! Makani continues expelling her emotions, the deep torture in her soul. ‘Take my life! I can handle it! End it now!’

Fiji reverses back with a straight arm that has the gun in his hand until he is pinned against the wall as Makani approaches him. Fiji has no way to go, and the people in the plane are too terrified to even move. Makani comes to the proximity of fatality. The gun is at point-blank range; if the gun is triggered by any chance, Makani will not survive. Though Makani arrives at Fiji. And she leans towards the gun that lays squeezed on her chest, at the part where her heart is located. Makani confronts Fate personally.

Suddenly, Fiji’s straight arm, laden with the gun, crumbles from the stress of the situation; he collapses down on the floor, broken with regret and fear. Fiji empties his hurt with heartbreaking sobbing. As the gun dismisses from Fiji’s hand, nearby passengers jump over and tackle Fiji down the floor, so he may not do anything dangerous again. Fiji is on the floor, immobilized by the people, and from the floor, with tears glossing his eyes, he stares upwards into Makani’s burning eyes. Makani stares into Fiji’s eyes without averting her own eyes. Makani sees the pain she has in her life in Fiji; Makani sees her own reflection from Fiji. Makani looks at the regretting Fiji and she is dispossessed from her rage.

Aware of her clear state of mind, Makani recognizes the audacious action she made and how she nearly ended her precious life. Realizing this good truth, Makani also too breaks down in sobbing as she collapses in the arms of helping people and she finally stops trying to act strong and start to let go of her past. Moreover, she has learned to accept her human fragility, the side that people are afraid to accept. Makani feels cathartic and weeps at the arms of helping people. Makani is starting to embrace the change brought by Fate. Makani is becoming whole. The plane flies perfectly afterwards.

Later, Makani stepped outside the plane at sunrise at the destination of Honolulu, her home. The sunlight glows on her beautiful face and she inhales and exhales. She then pulls out her engagement ring and throws it away.

Then a few minutes later, she is attended by the emergency services at the airport as the suicidal incident of Fiji on the plane is known by the officials as the paramedics, news broadcasters, and the police are upon arrival of the plane. While Makani is drinking coffee at the driveway to ease down and she sees Fiji being taken into custody by the police, she gets up from her chair and follows them. Makani stops the procession that was heading to the police vehicle, and she stands with Fiji who is filled with regret. She looks at him compassionately and says, ‘Life, Fate has taught me about myself. Now I know that I am special. You are special too. Don’t worry about anything else.’ Makani finishes advising Fiji as a Wisewoman. And Fiji smiles thankfully at her. Makani afterwards relinquishes her cosy coat that kept her warm and clothes it on Fiji. Afterwards, Makani hugs Fiji, meaningfully. Though with handcuffed hands behind him, Fiji hugs Makani back meaningfully. They say their goodbyes and separate and go their ways. Makani, after a long time, feels free, without burden. Makani after a long time, genuinely smiles.

Chapter 7: The Wind is Now Free

This is the door to Makani’s apartment. Remember, you are still the narrator of the story. Today, you will meet Makani again at the house you are standing in front of. In a few moments, you will understand. But first, observe outside. You must pay attention to the details so you can understand what is happening in Makani’s life and the positive change she has made.

The apartment is a small, charming home. It is a house that is made for a youth who is trying to find their own independence and identity in a wild, unprocessed life. The house is a charming apartment, yet it now feels like a cherished abode since its windowsills have been recently painted and the sea’s brackish air just flows. The houseplant on the doorstep is trimmed and cared for. At the front of the apartment are two windows you still see: one from the kitchen and the other belonging to the living room. And both are now open at eleven o’clock in the morning. It seems that the apartment resident is a lively person at this time. But you, observing and standing at the doorstep of the apartment of Makani, are ready to understand the new change.

As you are about to open the front door, it opens itself to you. A handyman comes out, waving goodbye to the person inside. You are happy and you enter after the handyman was left. As you enter the apartment, you feel calm and welcomed. The house is beautifully sparkling, you think – the owner must be a good person. Forward you go, a few steps ahead, and you turn towards a doorway and observe the state of the kitchen. And marvelled you are. You see the kitchen window open, letting inside the beautiful glow of day. You see the kitchen sink is spotlessly clean, and the fresh air is breathtaking. Satisfied by the difference, when you turn your sight away from the kitchen, you notice a photograph of Makani celebrating her father’s 71st birthday. They spent time visiting Anne’s grave. You smile to yourself at the change, and you continue ahead.

You steadily walk into the house, and you turn your sight again to the living room, and the television is off, and the cell phone is off. You then look at the sofa, where it seems Makani usually sits, and you then peer and read an article called ‘Strong and Independent’ from a motivational magazine. The magazine is neatly placed on the table. Everything seems proper in the living room. You are content as you observe. And you pass with a smile.

The last door of Makani’s bedroom. The room was not welcoming previously. What change can there be, if the other rooms are good? Now, you are left to confront it. You are in front of it, and you are about to open it. The door opens itself and widens. The door has been fixed. With Makani appearing with a beautiful smile, she looks at you.

However, after she opens the door, she walks towards you and passes you. For you are still an observing narrator, and she doesn’t notice you. You smile back, and you watch her as she walks barefoot to a place where you have never seen her before. Makani opens up the door to the front yard and exits outside into the sunshine. You are about to follow her, but first you look at her bedroom to see the difference. Everything seems cheerful now – like the other rooms. And you also notice that on the bedroom wall is the motivational poster: ‘Rain or shine, I will always be happy’. Makani has a new mindset – a good mindset. You move ahead towards the front door to see Makani.

As you come to the front yard, you are met by the gorgeous day. Under the cool shade of the evergreen tree, sitting on her vintage chair, Makhani is relaxing while reading a book about interior design and fashion business. That happy person you see over there who is embracing life one beautiful footstep at a time is called Makani: Makani, the true Wind.

Israel Lumile

Israel Lumile

Israel Lumile is a 31-year-old South African who lives in Durban, KwaZulu Natal. He is studying theology and religious studies so he can be a pastor, as he sees that it is his destiny to change the spiritual character of the world. He has found that sermons are powerful with storytelling, for it is a way of relating with the audience, and it can be congregated with real-life experiences told.